Sensitive people are destined to shed more tears

Rather than saying I'm a stubborn person
It's more accurate to say I'm an inexplicable person
Getting inexplicably angry, wanting to cry inexplicably
Feeling inexplicably bad, being inexplicably dissatisfied with someone
Repression, confusion, sensitivity, fragility
So I always experience love and pain doubly
I have extremely acute perceptiveness and strong empathy
Yet sometimes I really hate my sensitivity
It always leaves me with more tears
Never able to express my emotions
But desperately wanting others to notice how I feel
I'm inherently contradictory, every time I want to speak
But don't know where to start
Everyone says sensitivity is a gift
But mastering this gift requires a strong heart, which I don't have
The price of this sensitive gift is endless
mental exhaustion and torment
This personality has only brought me pain
Keeping me sleepless, ultimately crying myself to sleep
I keep wondering if I'm too much
I like instant replies, unconsciously worried
Dislike hot and cold attitudes and deliberate appeasement
I hate my own sensitivity and suspicion
Hate my eyes that often shed tears
Hate this chaotic world
I'm forever living in others' gazes
I hate that I can't do myself right
I'm afraid my grievances and sadness won't be understood
Always feeling others' love for me isn't real
Always being called extreme and extreme
Being hurt by a few harsh-toned words
Questioning others' sincerity toward me
So always pushing people around me away
I don't know when I became so broken
All the bumps and heartaches along the way I've never told anyone
I always felt that having been through turbulence, I should be happy
In the end I can only tell myself... forget it...